Four Horses
I’ve always journaled. Sometimes more frequently than others. This year, I journal nearly daily. I have stacks of notebooks that include business ideas, random thoughts, emotional purges, poems, notes from books and youtube videos, plans, and dreams. Among all of these were ideas and thoughts that relentlessly poked their way into the inner depths of my brain and kept coming up over and over. It was like my spirit guides were trying to tell me something, but I just wasn’t seeing it. One day I sat down, and my only intention was to revisit those recurring thoughts and ideas. I was determined to find the missing link . I’ve been called to help animals since birth, however, my calling was now stretching deeper and wider than ever, and I knew that this missing link would help me better understand that calling. I went over pages and pages, and wrote down words and themes that kept repeating.
The name of my business is One Soul Healing. The meaning behind it is that we are all connected, and in order to survive, we each need to take responsibility for every other living being on this planet. So naturally, the recurring words and ideas that came up were animals, plants, ocean, water, earth, nature, whole food, conservation, connection, women, and community. I feel in my bones that every living being is connected, our life forces intertwined. I used to focus solely on animal healing, until I realized, the way to heal animals is through people. If we teach people to respect nature, to think about their choices, and to foster compassionate connections with all souls, the animals will automatically thrive.
My problem lies in the fact that I had no idea how to connect the dots on all of these ideas. I know animals, but what do I know about the rest? I began to consult my tried and true Medicine Cards oracle deck. Because I am so drawn to animals and my native culture, my very first oracle card deck was Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson. I pull a card every morning and use the wisdom from each animal to teach me strength, patience, courage, guidance, or as a focal point for the day. I meditate with that animal totem to see what lessons I may learn from their energy.
These animal totems became so powerful and inspirational in my journey to discover the missing link, that I began to share the animal wisdom with others and their impact on my well-being. Two of those people are my mental health therapist and her equine specialist. I’ve had some personal struggles lately, and decided equine-assisted psychotherapy was perfect for me. The horses are the best teachers I could ask for. It’s like the horses from the medicine cards have jumped out of the deck into real life!
Equine psychotherapy uses the connection between people and horses to enhance mental and emotional healing. I had no idea what to expect or how much healing it would truly bring to my life. The morning of my second session with the horses, I pulled my medicine card as usual. Of course I pulled the horse! I actually didn’t expect that card, as I rarely select it. If you aren’t aware, horse wisdom teaches us about strength. Strength in the physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional aspects of ourselves.
The native Medicine Card story for the horse totem depicts four horses, each represented by a different color, lesson, and direction, just like the indigenous peoples medicine wheel.. All indigenous and native cultures used a form of a medicine wheel, however, there was no name for it, it was simply their way of life. A medicine wheel represents all aspects of life and how to remain in balance. If one part of the wheel is unbalanced, your whole life and community suffer, the world suffers.
Indigenous Medicine Wheel
This particular day, I was working with a black horse named Emma. I selected Emma to work with because I needed soft energy. Emma is a petite Thoroughbred with a gentle nature and sensitive energy. However, before I haltered her I made my way to Leo. Leo is the first horse I worked with one on one. He is a very proud, strong, and very large, Ardennes draft horse. Leo taught me about strength and courage that day, and we created a formidable bond. Emma was keeping her distance as I was speaking with and rubbing Leo’s coat, as they aren’t too fond of each other.
Leo and me. I fell instantly in love with this boy!
I finally set my intention to create a compassionate heart to heart connection with Emma. She brushed me off a few times, but I kept sharing messages of love and unity with her. I asked her if she would be my teacher today in the round pen. So many times horses aren’t given a choice to work or not. It is so important to give our horses agency and respect their boundaries. After a few minutes, Emma lowered her head, relaxed her bottom lip, and shifted her feet to let me know she had accepted my request and would happily join me in the round pen.
Emma and me. Such a lovely soul.
I gently put the rope halter over her muzzle, then her ears, and secured it. We walked together out of the pasture, up a little hill, and into the round pen. I walked her around the pen several times, changing direction as we walked. I was instructed to remove the halter and try a little exercise. The goal was to disconnect my energy from Emma, then reconnect, and see if she would follow my lead and walk with me in a circle around the pen. I shifted my focus away from Emma and started thinking about something random. Boom. We were disconnected. It’s that easy. (That’s a topic for another day!)
After a couple of minutes, maybe seconds, I tried reconnectIng with Emma. I couldn’t wait to see how the experiment would go! I slowly closed my eyes, took several deep breaths, connected to Mother Earth and Father Sky, and asked Emma to once again join our hearts together. I walked slowly up to her, not touching her, walked past her head and silently asked her to walk with me. She immediately began following me around the round pen! We walked together around the pen and made a couple of circles, then she followed me in a figure-eight pattern. I found myself wanting to always look back to make sure she was behind me and following. My therapist instructed me to have confidence, look forward, and expect her to follow. I shifted my mindset to precisely that, and listened for her footsteps. There they were. Wow! In just a very short amount of time, two horses had taught me some fundamental life-lessons.
As we stood in the round pen discussing the day’s events, I mentioned how ironic it was that today was the day that I pulled the horse totem card. Each animal totem has a corresponding native legend that allows the reader to expand and develop their connection to the animal’s qualities, energies, and lessons. The legend associated with the horse totem involves four horses that represent different aspects of ourselves. Not long after, we realized that I had my very own four horses to illustrate those lessons so beautifully and flawlessly as only a horse can. The colors of the four horses are red, black, white, and yellow. My first day I worked with Leo, the Ardennes who taught me courage and strength. Leo is a reddish horse . Today I worked with Emma, a black horse. In the herd there were two Fjord draft horses, one white and one a creamy yellow! I hadn’t worked with the two Fjords one-on-one, but I had felt their energy while in the pasture with them. I had mentioned to the equine specialist and my therapist that one of them gave me the impression he couldn’t give two shits about anything! I joked that he had nothing to teach me because I was feeling the same!
I left my appointment that day feeling more confident, but needing to process the emotions and energy I was feeling from the lessons Emma had taught me. As I began to process those thoughts and feelings, naturally, I referred back to my journal. I looked at the page of words and ideas that kept repeating. Bam! It hit me! I drew a large circle around that entire page of random words and thoughts, and realized I had actually created my own medicine wheel! How could I not see that all of it was aspects of something I had studied and respected for years and years? I felt as if my entire life was a medicine wheel initiation.
Immediately everything made sense. It was as if my ancestors were jumping for joy that I had finally realized it was my calling to teach others about the power of the Medicine Wheel. Thanks to four horses I was able to discover that the missing link was a simple yet profound circle. The Medicine Wheel.
As a child, my father and I participated in a group called the Indian Princess Program. It is a father and daughter group hosted by the YMCA which was founded in 1926 by the director of the YMCA and his friend, a native Ojibuway man. The group was created as a way to foster connection between fathers and daughters, and to teach young girls self confidence, respect of all peoples and nature, and the importance of community through group activities such as camping, hiking, ceremony, horseback riding, and crafts.
I didn’t know it at the time, but this was my first true experience with the medicine wheel. I thoroughly enjoyed all aspects of the group, but my favorite activity was of course horseback riding. If I could be near a horse, pet a horse, or ride a horse, I was in heaven. Simply being around horses I feel so completely free. There is nothing better than being in a partnership with a horse as you gallop across the field as one. The sound of racing hoof beats echoes the joy of my own heartbeat. I never feel more alive than I do on the back of a horse.
I’ve always felt like a square peg trying to fit inside of a round hole. Animals and nature feel like home, peaceful and safe. People have always confused me, which is why I spend so much time asking questions and trying to understand motives. I was a shy child, hiding behind my parents when meeting other adults. I just didn’t understand the need to hug everyone I came in contact with. However, one important aspect of the medicine wheel is to teach us the importance of community. The Indian Princess Program helped me achieve confidence around other girls my own age, and eventually adults as well. Now, I hug everyone!
Animals have always been my greatest teachers. I have instinctively looked to them for guidance, wisdom, and to balance my own spirit. Animals never felt like a possession to me, but a kindred spirit with a soul just like mine. The medicine wheel teaches us to respect all life forms, including the trees, the animals, the insects, the plants, the ocean and everything in and on Mother Earth and Father Sky. Only when we live in harmony with all beings will our lives be in balance. Community does not simply imply people, but every living being. When we speak of our “relations,” we normally think of only people, our human family. The Medicine Wheel teaches us that all beings are our relations.
As I embark on the next phase of my life, I will continue to study and share aspects of the Medicine Wheel as it relates to balancing one’s life and aligning myself and others with our soul's purpose. I look forward to using the lessons of the animals to guide my community toward a more balanced and fulfilling life. Namaste.
Donna
With love and gratitude to Kristen Batchelor of Triple Play Farm, Kannapolis, NC.
If you’d like to learn more about equine psychotherapy please visit https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/equine-assisted-therapy
